5 signs you are standing in your own way

We all have dreams and things we want to accomplish.  We can all play the “poor me” card or make excuse after excuse but in reality it is often just us standing in our own way.  Here are 5 tips to help yourself recognize when you are your biggest problem and how to get out of your own way. 

1. You dwell on past regrets.
I have read studies that say that regret can be a good thing, if you can believe that.  Regret can actually be motivating and informative; it is when we dwell on it that it becomes a problem.  Dwelling on something actually wastes your mental energy and can have horrible effects on your physical health.  Instead of dwelling on something you need to recognize your mistakes and actually change the way we look at a situation.  Though it can be hard we need to change our frame of mind from “what do I regret in the past” and focus on “what will I regret in the future”.

2. Stop comparing yourself to others
Social media has a lot to do with us not feeling like we measure up these days.  Comparing ourselves and our lives like so many of us do is just as bad as regrets.  These comparison traps we get stuck in are like a sinkhole for our energy and time.  These comparing thoughts can lead to anxiety, depression and worse. The best thing we can do is make sure that we are limiting the time we spend on social media and other platforms and places that lead us to compare ourselves to others in the first place. 

3. You often put either too much on your plate — or nothing at all
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When we do this we aren’t able to be consistent with anything because we are letting our anxiety dictate our intentions.  Anxiety is NOT supposed to be a motivation mechanism like so many of us let it be.  Our anxiety runs on hormones and your energy is actually being depleted instead of charged.   Have a hard time with consistency because I’m letting my anxiety dictate my intentions. Instead you should be allowing a certain amount of time for each task you have to complete and then set a time limit.  It is also important to reward yourself of a job well done.  I once read that the brain is habit’s slave.  This means that we have to retrain our brain by aiming small at first and then applauding and rewarding ourselves. 

4. You spend more time stressing over decisions than actually making them.
Often times we have to make a decision that hounds us until we are so stressed we have exhausted ourselves to the core.  We hear people say things like “weigh the pros and cons”. However, you must trust how you feel about the list more than the actual list.  When we do this sometimes and we feel strongly about the decision we are making we will actually try and find negative things about the one side we feel less strongly about to almost favor one side against the other, defeating the purpose of the list all together.   If you notice you are doing this you need to take a hard look at why and you will find your answer.

5. You let the external dictate the internal.
In a world where so much information is coming at us 24 hours a day we are easily influenced by others making it hard to make our own decisions.  We are letting the outside world influence us to make decisions for our own lives that we may not actually want for ourselves.  One way to be sure you are making a decision that is best for YOU and not what others want for you is to think about what those others are saying  “should” do. If someone is saying you “should” do something - imagine the word should is gone - do you still feel good about the decision?